We've gone through an extended season of fasting from food, TV, computer games (among the more common activities that suck up our time) in order that we may return to the fundamental building blocks of our lives.
How much do we truly DELIGHT in the Lord after this extended season of DISCIPLINE?
I found myself asking this question late last week and today's psalm is so timely. It paints for us a picture of pure and unadulterated delight in the Lord. A picture of intense longing and deep hunger to be in God's presence
PS 84:1-2 How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. PS 84:3 Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young--a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God. PS 84:10 Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
I have grown to delight in God's Word more after this season. I'm reading and meditating on it throughout the day. I ask God not to let me go until He has given me revelation from His word. And I've committed to blog my reflections everyday.
There is still a temptation to just be lazy and go about my daily life without intentionally seeking His inspiration and guidance, but I think on a scale of 1 to 10, I've moved from 5 to 7.
I've grown to depend more on prayer after this season. In my heart there is change, and the actions are slowly changing according to what is inside. I pray more on my own, pray with more people, in more places than in the past. I am thinking about how we can make prayer central in the ministry again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I think I've moved from 4 to 6.
Still far from the psalmist in Ps 84. Yet seeking God is a lifelong journey.
Oh Lord, make me hot for you. Do not allow me to remain in a lukewarm state and become statisfied with cruising along.
How much have you grown in terms of intimacy with God? How would you rate yourself before and how would you rate yourself after?
For myself, I have grown throughout this period and am closer to God than in the past. nearing the end of the fast and prayer, I have however allowed busyness to overwhelm me and give me an excuse not to spend time with God. I rate myself from 4 to 6.
dawn
Sunday, March 23, 2008♥ 10:26 PM
going to the hairdresser
dear everyone,
I will post about what God did for me for sanctification week another time...but this is about when I went to the hairdresser.
As I told some of you in church just now, I wanted to go and rebond my hair tonight to try something different. I prayed to God to direct to the hairdresser who will do a good job because I did not want ugly hair and spend a lot of money in the process. I was going to go to parkway parade to do the rebonding job because there were a number of hairdressers there and I could pick and choose.
while I was waiting at the busstop to go to parkway parade, i suddenly thought I should go to another area near parkway to cut instead. when I reached the parkway busstop I felt that I should go to the area, which is the Roxy Square shopping centre, to rebond my hair instead.
At first I was quite hesitant whether that was God speaking. I finally thought 'I can never be 100% sure it is God speaking anyway - it is also faith. I shall walk by faith and not by sight - and not think of many of my own wisdom why I should go Parkway instead. I shall follow what it appears like God speaking and go Roxy Square.' So I went to the shopping centre and walked around praying that God will give me a hairdresser.
I decided on this hair salon. When I went in and sat down, they were playing chinese christian songs in the background, which is the first time I hear christian songs being played in hair salons. I thought to myself that 'cool..this seems like God.'
While I was at the hair salon, I started talking to the hairdressers there. There were like 3 of them - they took turns to talk to me, depending on whether they were busy with other clients.
Praise God for the testimonies that I heard from them and also what they shared with me from their own lives.
I shall share some here...
one of them while rebonding my hair told me that one side of my head was a bit different from the other (i get that very often from hairdressers - my head shape kinda unusual) and she told me to pray abt it. then she shared with me that they had a customer who had jutting out ears and she prayed abt her ears and the hairdressers in the salon prayed for too - after a few months, God answered their prayers and her ears moved closer to her head.
another of them was sharing abt her daughter and how God helped her in her exams. during her a levels literature exam, she complained to her mum that she had a lot to study and could not finish. Her mum told her to pray and she did. God gave her the names of 4 (or is it 6?-cannot remember) out of the 9 books. when she finished she had a bit of time and prayed some more and God gave another 2 books to study. finally when the exams came, the topics were on the first 4(or 6) books God told her to study and she got an A for A levels literature. the mum shared that the daughter was doing badly in the school exams in JC and the teacher kept wanting to see the mum and told the mum that it is very difficult for your daugther to make it to Uni. In the end she got A,B and C for A levels and is going to go NUS! - the teacher after that called it a miracle.
I asked one of them how was business in the salon. she said that it is alright - she said that when business is quiet, they will proclaim that God will bring a lot of customers to them (I am one of them), and there will be many customers that willcome thereafter. then she shared with me that there is power in proclaimation and I can do the same for my work.
they also shared that this hair salon was really a ministry started by God. they were all previously housewives. then some time back, God planned it such that they all separately on their own started to gain some hairdressing skills. then one of the ladies' husband suddenly told her that he could give her a shop space to a business. then they got together to start the hair salon and they would share their testimonies about God to their customers.
anw one of the aunties encouraged me a lot to pray. she said to praise God and pray the first in the monring. she was like 'God answers prayer.' and 'Satan is afraid of the weakest Christian on his knees. she also asked me 'how many people have you won to Jesus?'...I said 'a few.'...then she encouraged me to share my testimonies about God to others.
Praise God for bringing to the hair salons to meet the aunties. It is very humbling and encouraging to hear these aunties' simple faith and testimonies of God's love and power and how He uses them. I don't think they are much educated - they dun speak much english. I am like much more educated than them but they have more faith and commitment to God than me and God uses them more.
I want to have a heart that is teachable and believes God's word like a little child.
dawn
♥ 7:23 PM
YO DARLS!♥ ♥ ♥
just as i've said, im here to blog :D though its been a few weeks late i guess. YEP.
cos yup i've been away from God for like 3 weeks?!?! and wads there to post when i've been so far away from Him.
anyway, thanks to God's grace he has brought me back to calvary! :D YAY. and i shall share it! :D
its pretty long, so just bear with me (if you can) :D
anyway, good friday, went for the sanctification thingy. and i knew how far away from Him i was, and when the video of Christ crucified was shown, it was so gross, i really didnt dare to see it, i felt like vomitting, but that was all i was feeling, and i wasnt touched by Him at all. i didnt know why, i was so surprised at myself, how many times i have seen such videos and stuff, but it was the first time i felt nothing. and God asked me quietly in my heart, 'why have u gone all cold, why has your heart turned away from my love?' i just didnt know why, i tried, i tried to think about God's love and Jesus' sacrifice, but i still did not feel loved or touched or anyway, and people all around were like sniffing and crying but i felt so ashamed of myself. & so i went home on Good Friday night, still pretty much far away from God. and i prayed, tried to spend time with him, but like every other night, i just couldnt feel his presence there anymore. God had called me to come back to him just like 2 weeks ago, but i guess i ignored it. and now i just couldnt feel Him anymore. ok so saturday, i somehow knew i needed to go, i needed to get things right and get back on track with God. so i went. and i was late. OOOPS. :/ and they were singing like praise songs and celebrating that they were sanctified. and BLAH and i was like i had no mood to do so, like really whats there to celebrate when my relationship with God isnt there. and so i just sang along and blah blah, and even the song which always makes me cry couldnt move my heart. i realised how hardened my heart was. and then after that pastor started talking about some love thingy or is it the spirit of rejection? i cant really remember now, something about God's love. and then they started singing this song which i never heard before, and i just closed my eyes i could hear vanessa singing behind me i think, and my tears just started to fall without control. and i really had no intention of going up there for the altar call, but somehow i dunno why i just went up. and i was kneeling there surrounded by people crying and i was crying also. and the what really touched me was wad pastor nina said. what God's decree or something, i cant really rmb it, but what i know is something like 'when you pray, i will be there to listen, and when you seek me with all your heart you will find me, i will not disappoint you.' and really that was just wad i needed to hear so badly. after all those nights where i laid on my bed crying and asking God whether he has forsaken and forgotten about me, and how disappointed i was in Him, that he always didnt turned up when i prayed. it was the affirmation that i needed so badly, to tell me that God still cared for me. it just felt so good to be back to God's side once more.
and when i reached home, God somehow revealed to me, what sin perhaps i was commiting that i didnt realised. YEP. so i'll try to change, no i WILL change(:
So what could I say? And what could I do? But offer this heart oh God Completely to you
I’ll stand With arms high and heart abandoned In awe of the one who gave it all so I’ll stand My soul Lord to you surrender it all I am is yours
oh i love this song! HAH. and i wanna dedicate it to the Lord. :D
anyway, GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD FOR HE IS GOOD, AND NEVER FORGET CALVARY & HIS LOVE FOR US COS HE WILL NEVER EVER FORSAKE US! x3
love, JO.
(back to hissssstory! russian rev!) OH and remember to pray for me and shir! if you see this. we got common tests!!! AHHHH i got 3 tests tmrr!!!! my brain is stuffed with stalin & revolutions & physics formulas!)
Thursday, March 20, 2008♥ 6:10 PM
i have always wanted to share this song, but i didnt find it.
today, god has brought me to it.
you all should listen to it. though the video might be a little 'scary' at times.
i guess you all should be making your way down to expo now. i will join you all tmr! (: have a great time with god.
mavis
Monday, March 17, 2008♥ 9:16 PM
hi everyone, this is dawn here.
I just read Mavis's post. Thanks dear Mavis for sharing so honestly your thoughts and struggles (and songs) with us. Love you. =)
Wanna encourage everyone and mavis to: KEEP ON MOVING AND PRESS ON!
Even if you have not been spending that one hour with God or reading the psalm a day (or done as well as think you should have), dun give up on it. It is very easy for us to give up halfway cos we think that "anyway everything has gone badly", "I have not been spending that one hour with God for so long. Let me give up." - that is a lie!
Just come before God and confess whatever that you have not done well. He forgives you and He gives you a new beginning because of what Jesus did for us on the Cross. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
2 Corin 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Also, I know that God has brought all of us a long way since we started the Year of Sabbath. We have read through more of the bible and read through a lot of the psalms and prayed more than we did before it started. You have grown! =) It is also encouraging to see you all post on your thoughts and what God has been teaching you all - the Jasmine tribe blog was started in the Year of Sabbath and we have posted and blessed one another through it. It is a Victory! =)
At the end of the day, God is seeking for a relationship with us and He loves us. The focus is not on the 1 hour with God (though it is important), but drawing close to God. =) Yes, and I believe we have done it as we read the psalms and prayed and just being obedient to do what the church and God is leading us to do. =)
Wanna thank God also for touching me with His love. I was reading my bible on the part that Jesus was crucified on for a couple of day last week. Then on Saturday night I was suddenly struck by God's love for me - I cried and cried for really long because I was so touched that Jesus who is God would die on the Cross for me - me who is so small and sinful and unworthy.
Jia you gals.
Also HAPPY BELATED 16TH BIRTHDAY CASSANDRA! =) WE LOVE YOU! =)
dawn
♥ 12:26 AM
surrender all
honey bunnies!
its time for...
MAVIS DJ ON THE ROAD.
haha yes! i am here to share a song again.
you know i was so scared that you guys didnt like the song. haha until dawn said its nice! hahha i felt so relieved. phew!
but anyway it doesnt matter. i am rushing my work now, but god is asking me to share this with you guys because its just rings in my head. even when i went to bathe! omgosh i was humming it all the way without realising. until my sister came and asked me to shut up. haha its a nice song.
i also felt that this meant quite a lot. like with today's sermon.
how can we recover from the lost of faith?
i guess it really spoke to me. i kinda felt that i have lost the faith, as its so distracting in the holidays. like the fasting and the one hour thing, i havent prayed for an hour at home yet, only last week in the combined service. but i will try! try try try!
i felt that it is quite meaningless to go for sanctification if we don't even have the heart for god right? it really shocked me when i was in worship. i was really distracted by the people around me. and i was just singing the song, but the thoughts in my head, was just running wild. nothing about god at all. i just sang and sang together with the rest. (something like what pastor said huh!) SO i have decided that i will forget about those horrible 30 something days, if i am not wrong, and i will give my next four days whole to really spend time with god. i really hope i can do this. if not i know when i go for the sanctification, i wont feel anything. so yup yup. GOD, NEXT FOUR DAYS, ALL YOURS!
BUT anyway, i really want you guys to hear this song.
surrender it all to god, be honest and humble.
god of mercy,
show your mighty hand.
god of wonder,
breathe on us again.
you're my king and all-consuming fire.
heavan shakes,
your might tears up the sky.
surrender all,
surrender all,
i am dead to sin,
alive within.
god almighty,
change my dark to light.
god of passion,
gave your blood as life.
you're my king
and all-consuming fire.
strip away the flesh and take me higher.
ALL THE BEST IN TERM 2!
god is gonna be there!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008♥ 2:22 PM
A BROKEN HEART, i will not despise
hey dears(: i told you guys i'd be blogging about smth that God broke my heart about this week and so sorry have been rather busy so here to share with you guys now. (: recall sometime last yr, i wrote yo guys the SUPERRR LONGGG email about my thanksgiving for youth camp and the whole year of victory thing. haha. yeah. i don't want it broadcasted on the WWW yeah so i shall just refer to it as 'the incident' oh and this is Vanessa here by the way. heh :D
so anyway. the incident last year as you guys know hurt me quite a bit and i always tried to tell myself that God has a reason for doing these things and i kept thinking what the reason could be. and that night before i slept i tried to spend the hour with God. i was quite tired so i didn't really feel like praying much so as pastor said, just sit there (or lie on the bed in my case!) and listen to what God tells you. so anyway. not many of you all know but there was one service where pastor was talking about the psalm written in acrostic form right. then mavis and i were trying to write also and i did. and i actually made it into my song for God lah. And i was feeling so good about myself and how i so "holy" can write song to God. i shall show you the first few lines of the song. haha.
Almighty Father
Best Friend I could ever have
Come fill my spirit
Down on my knees I fall
and just fyi the last three letters X Y Z very hard to find a sentence so i made it chinese heh. anyway. so as i lay there trying to think solely of God and waiting for Him to speak to me, the song popped into my head. i thought at first, cool man God gave me a song to sing to worship Him so i started singing it. And try your best to recall the email i sent you all. it had smth to do with a person right. well, God suddenly just grabbed me and told me to listen to what i was singing. I was singing "...best friend i could ever have..." and it struck me. Tears just poured down my cheeks and couldn't stop. You know how hurt and upset i was when the peron ignored me and everything right. Then i treated the person as a best friend but the feeling probably wasn't mutual. the person would call me a best friend and then spend more time with others than this best friend. had more fun with others than me. i could not understand then. but i think i finally understand what having a broken heart is like.
i was asking for a broken heart at the altar call and to me it's like i don't know what it means and everything just okay lah want lor. but the words best friend slapped me in the face. i was singing that God was my best friend. God asked me in a very quiet voice " why do you call me your best friend when you'd raher spend days playing with your other friends and find it so hard just to spend one hour talking to me? why are you so passionate for me on sundays and when you pray but completely ignore me the rest of the week and day?" I was overwhelmed with this sadness and guilt because i knew that God was right. I was being totally hypocritical and stupid. i caused the Lord the same hurt and sorrow that the person had caused me and i thought God was mean for letting me experience it. but i saw now, that God felt how i felt. and knowing how many days i cried myself to sleep, i felt so terrible that i could have done the same thing to our Lord. I just kept crying and crying and the words "best friend" just kept replaying in my head. I felt so bad about it and kept apoloigising to the Lord and i know He forgave me because He dried my tears and gave me a really good sleep.
but i know now that God has good plans for my life and i should not question his actions or blame him for my unhappiness. i hope this is an encouragement to all of you, my darling sisters. i'll see you guys tmr! :D LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!
vanessA!
Monday, March 10, 2008♥ 8:29 PM
>
lol. hi yall, my beloved.(: mavis honey is here to blog!! haha
-this is so cheesy, gee-
ok back to my point. i am going to upload music here. bring life. haha. mostly are from like parachute band, red rain. haha yea. they are really good. basically they are bands which i attended their concerts before. in the heart of god church. my sister's church or rather old church. i feel that music, is something that easily speaks to our hearts? i dont know why? oh well, the wonder of god.
hmm so hope you guys will enjoy the songs!
you are the only one who gave,
all that you had to cover my shame.
oh no one can deny,
that you paid this price.
you are the one who gave.
you have the only name,
with power enough to take all my blame
oh no one can deny,
that you have paid this price.
you have the only name.
now i see,
how much you love me.
constant one you wil never leave.
i will keep in you.
you remain holding me,
when i am lost and stuck out at sea.
though the world may despise,
this love in your eyes
you remain holding me.
let this just remind us, how much god is willing to sacrifice for us. that shame. upon that cross. he will hold us
Monday, March 3, 2008♥ 9:38 PM
Dear family,
Wanna thank God for speaking a lot to me and healing me in many areas in the last week which I shared some during youth cell on Sunday. will blog it when I have more time. He is very good and most incredible. yay! =)
Ps Khong challenged us this week: TO FIND REST IN GOD EVERY MOMENT THIS WEEK, and also to spend the 1 hour with God a day.
Wanna encourage everyone to take up the faith challenge.
For myself, I tend to worry a lot and think a lot about my problems, potential problems and bad things that can happen. The week ahead looks a busy and challenging week, esp at work.To find rest in God every moment this week is going to be a SUPERNATURAL AND A ONLY GOD CAN DO IT TASK.
But our God is strong (able to me and us do it) and He is loving. =) =)
dawn
Saturday, March 1, 2008♥ 11:55 PM
cass.
Hey all. Had to give church a miss last week for regatta. Weather was divine and if only i could take a pic out at sea to share the view. With the clouds, trees and the sea..absolutely heavenly. I felt so at peace and calm and amazed at God's creation.
Okay so my post have been long overdue.....I'm sure everyone is waiting breathlessly in anticipation haha but sadly since cny feels as if centuries ago, I'll share about others.
The 40day fast, do without a meal a day, I thought "easy" I could do that. Skip for lunch then have dinner.....no mean feat, plus I could use a diet. But how wrong was I, never knew how hard it was to fast and how much snacks in between meals I take. I felt tempted many times by my friends and the glorious wanton mee near school but I couldn't and I have a reason why.
Personally, I feel that fasting, is God's way of strengthening our mind and spirit. You see in life, you would meet lots of obstacles and failures, and temptations come to flirt with our mind and the only way to fight it is to be strong. Just think, if wanton mee could get to you....imagine how hard it would be to counter other temptations and distractions. So to me fasting is like a simple training, something small to start off with to build our resilience and trust in the Lord.
Yezzzz, about the No Tv rule. I know it's even harder, more so when its the award season and new drama serials..but as i said it's to build us up for smth even bigger next time. Its all in the mind....hahaha
Oh yes, I remember I had a tough time skipping lunch during regatta since I was scared I wouldn't have enough energy if I didn't eat but God is great and I did quite well. "No pain No gain" I suppose.
Yeah that's basically it.. Gd night and here's a song. I think it's a christian song..
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